My childhood wasn’t your usual childhood. I had parents that liked to go out on the weekends, liked to fight on the weekends and I was also put in an unsafe situation many many many times.  That’s a nutshell.  I will go into more of that on my Substack. (I also want to take a moment to say, I no longer hold any resentments towards my parents. No, I do not think they did the best they could.  I actually really dislike that saying (future blog post). I do think they were products of their environment and didn’t know how to do things differently or have the resources to do so.) My escape was living in my imagination but also Brownies, especially camp. Being with a group of people outside of my home felt so different to me. I remember feeling so expanded and also super anxious. I appreciate the camp counslors that went out of their way to make be feel comfortable and included. I had a very hard time being around groups of people. I felt so small. That anxiety got the best of me when I was younger and every group I joined I ended up quitting because I it was so uncomfortable for me.  

The next was in 2001 when I became pregnant with my 2nd child. I was living in a toxic marriage that I was convinced I was going to change and I was going to get my happily ever after. The family life I always dreamed of.  I found a “Due in June 2002” AOL message board group and joined. It was so amazing to share my pregnancy experience with a group of women, even though they had no idea what I was going through in my home, they were a safe place for me. I also met my bestest friend in that group. She has absolutely no idea how meeting her was a catalyst to my own healing. Her and her husband have such a great loving partnership. It’s not perfect. It’s typical!  It’s exactly how it should be. I was so very jealous of that and I subconciously attempted to sabatoge our friendship many times. She never gave up on me though. Always was there for me and still is.  Since I have meet her I have used her relationship with her husband as a litmus.  Is this what they have or better? I was not going to settle for less. It took me 20 years to realize it wasn’t ever going to happen in the marriage I was in.

Before I move on, I’m going to nerd out again.  I’m going to do that with every post, btw. I think it’s important to not only share my personal stories but also the logic behind it. The research. The mechanics. The why.  According to research, joining a community combats loneliness, builds resilience and supports personal/professional growth. People who come together in community are healthier and happier. I can say from experience that, yes, that is true. Each group I have ever joined WITH INTENTION contributed to my growth, happiness and resilience. 

In 2007, I very anxiously walked into Silver Lake Nature Center to join women I have never met for a Holistic Moms Network meeting. I felt so small in that room and so anxious. Much like when I was younger. I wanted to never go back except, everyone was so welcoming and just like me. I didn’t feel out of place. They parented like I parented. We held the same values. It was a space I felt like I actually belonged and that was amazing. I also met Jamie there and meeting her changed the trajectory of my life significantly. Our relationship deserves it’s own post and it will get one. For brevity, she taught me what it means to be loved by someone other than your kids, she showed me how to live authentically, she was an example of what it looks like to show up for other people. She became the family I always wanted.  

The next community that changed me was also connected to Jamie, not in anyway I would have wanted though. Jamie died unexpectedly in May 2022. That summer her friend encouraged me to join The Summer of Yes led by Master Life Coach Susan Hyatt. Wow, that online group gave me the confidence to do what I have wanted to do the last 22 years, leave my marriage.  I joined again the following summer and wrote a book! A best seller for a very short time.  Being surround by a group of high achieving women working towards similar goals was absolutely the energy I need for stepping into my yes season! I was finally saying YES to me!

With this new found confidence, I was ready to step into an in person circle. I went to a women’s business networking group. It was small and felt right.  Like I said every group I joined with INTENTION was the right group.  I tried joining many others but they didn’t work out because I was joining for the wrong reasons. That group inspired me professionally and spiritually.  Through that group, I made many connections and friendships.  My spiritual sisterhood soul circle was birthed from that group. They keep me grounded, heart opened and soul fed. 

If you are looking for community I want to encourage you to go for it. Start small. Join a subreddit, substack community, Facebook group.  I have a Rooted and Rewired Circle starting in September. It’s a 6 week group with limited openings. We will get grounded together and rewire our Nervous Systems and limiting beliefs…together, in circle.  
For those local to Hatboro, PA I have an in person opportunity for you. We gather every first Friday for 60-90 minutes.  It’s called The Self Worth Circle. It’s led by myself and Margo (a spiritual sisterhood soul circle friend) Join us!

I want to know what is holding you back from joining a community. Leave a comment!

P.S. If you want to see this post with photos, head over to my Substack.